Now I'm normally fairly switched on with my admin and paperwork. Okay, maybe a slight exaggeration. More of a complete lie, actually. Lets start again.
I am a paperwork mong. I admit it. I have the short term memory of a goldfish and a briefcase that doubles as a black hole. However I am also a very accomplished liar when it comes to generating righteous indignation at call center employees, hence I usually get away with forgetting to send them bits of paper on time. Top tip, folks - ALL banks and utilities lose loads of your personal and confidential stuff all the time so they'll believe you often as not.
Anyway, I get my tax coding for the year, and notice I'm being taxed as if I still receive private medical and all sorts of stuff as if I was still with a decent employer. So I do a bit of digging, and find out that I've been overcharged for about 4 years. SO I should be getting a few pennies back from the talon-like grip of the taxman. And finally to the point...
A Wish List
1. Lee Enfield. SMLE/Jungle Carbine/No 4/Sporter in order of preference. No real reason, just what I like. I saw a very clean SMLE when I was on holiday in North Yorks, manufactured about 1916 methinks (no magazine cutoff, which I think dates it to about then, where is Henry when you need him?) for £200 shiny pounds. Gimme. Add a bayonet from fleabay so at least if I miss something fluffy, I can still fix the pointy thing on and charge. Think instant kebab.
2. Centre-Fire .22 of some description (whenever the new regs for Muntjac permitted calibres are published). Foxy and Munty both.
3. Generic Deer rifle. Too many to choose from. And then we enter the .243/.308/7mm debate and to be honest given that I am a poor person the amount of deer action I am likely to see probably makes this a poor choice.
4. Black Powder Rifle. Because it'd be rude not to. A flintlock along the lines of a Baker would be rather nice. All I need is a French General 800 yards away and a bit of patience...
5. Add a .44 Remington Navy Model because we still can. Actually, I'll have a nice flintlock duelling pistol as well.
5. Martini - action rifle. Look, I just like them, OK? It's what I learned on as a nipper. This one might be in a slightly more impressive calibre. Can you still get .577-450?
6. Completely pointless shotgun. FAC Franchi SPAS or Mossberg for extreme bunny blatting, a Hushpower for the remaining extremely nervous Flopsies the next day, Pump Action Remmy for the day I ever go fowling etc etc.